Saturday, 3 December 2011

Do You Like Your Neigbours?

I’m very annoyed with our two new neighbours living in 'to let' flats – below and on the side.  First the ones directly below, sadly the Malaysian family moved back to Manchester about four months ago and a young couple has moved in with two dogs: a Boxer and a Shih Tzu, oh and I mustn't forget the cat that has scared all the birds away.  The couple are okay, but in relation to their dogs – really, really lazy.  I have hardly ever seen them take their dogs for a walk, using the garden as the doggie toilet.  And recently, because its been pouring heavily, their laziness has taken another step. Now their front door opens, the dogs run out and poop in our driveway, because they cannot be bothered to step out and walk round a couple of steps into their garden.  This has really annoyed me.  This does not do us any favours, especially as our flat has recently gone on the market, this could potentially put of interested parties from buying.

I would say something, I can be very blunt at times but I think is it worth the aggro?  We will be moving home early next year: sale of the flat or not.  Is it worth getting into a conflictual relationship, I bite my lip as we are the ones with a vested interest in this property.  But it can't continue.  Fine if that is the way they wan to treat their part of their rented garden, but they should not be extending that liberty to our space.  So I will get D to speak to them if it continues to happen, he is much more considered in his approach than me.
Photograph taken in Liverpool 2010
The other neighbour who moved in about the same time, into Nessie’s home, are selfish in the way that they always block our driveway with their big vehicles.  We don’t have much benefits in the way of this flat, but what we do have is a driveway that we never seem to be able to access.  always having to bang on neighbours doors, give them a dirty look and tell them politely to move their vehicles so that we can get into our home. 

I really cannot wait to move now.  I can’t wait to have a house – the benefits of a house are huge, but one that comes to mind is around noise.  I look forward to hearing noise that will only be ours, not from the thin walls of people above and below.  Silence is a commodity afforded to some people.  I am not one of those people.  Ah can you tell I am a bit peeved today?! I got other worries on my mind, the last thing i want to be thinking of is irresponsible and selfish neighbours around me.  Sometimes just closing the doors at home, just doesn't seem enough.


  1. Shaheen, there is still a long winter ahead with stepping into dog poo on your driveway (i.e. if you can get there at all *grin*). Just tell them, they might be just thoughtless; maybe bring some cookies with you. Works wonder. If they react in an angered way, well, you are moving out soon anyway ...

  2. I so understand how you feel. I love my house but have to share the driveway with the neighbours from hell. They consider the mutual drive to be their property, have a pit bull that is never walked and allowed to roam the driveway. Think nothing of have wicked arguments out in the back garden where we can hear everything about their problems. And a son who has been under house arrest for groping women in the neighbourhood.

  3. Hi Shaheen: Neighbours, what a big problem when they are inconsiderate! The lack of respect is what I can not understand, the basics rules for a good coexistence. Hope you can resolve this soon for good.


  4. I can sympathize. I have neighbors (with whom we share the wall between our houses) who are completely inconsiderate about noise. I have called the police twice and have not even spoken to them since last July. I take consolation in the fact that I know Peter and I eat better than they do.

  5. It's such a tricky situation isn't it Shaheen - I do sympathise. We had terrible neighbours at our first flat in North London, who complained about US all the time (?!) and then when we moved to a flat near Victoria station in the centre of London the neighbours were equally horrendous. I got so tired of hearing noise to the left, right and above all the time! Here it is much better, sometimes we hear a few things but it's part and parcel of living in a block isn't it, and it is so much better than before. And we are on friendly terms with our neighbours which is lovely, despite their quirks ;)

    I think the best thing to do is say something politely and calmly about the situation that's bothering you, so if D is going to be the more level headed of the two of you (as Tom is out of him and me!) get him to say something. If that makes no difference do you have a management company for your block of flats that might be able to give some advice? If so take it up with them. I think, having been on the other end of the stick when neighbours went straight to the management company without talking through a problem with us first (it turned out it wasn't us, it was the flat ABOVE them!), try and sort it out reasonably with them first. Most people can be quite ok about this sort of thing and are usually horrified to find out they've been upsetting their neighbours. So give talking to them a try and it might be better than you think!

    Either way I'm glad you'll be moving to a house soon so this can all be a thing of the past! xx

  6. I feel for you.
    We are lucky enough to live in a house with a large garden, near to a nature reserve and we are surounded by woodland and fields. Nearest neighbours are about 100 yds away. Just close enough for a friendly hello, a gossip and when in need of help....
    I generally love neighbours as long as they are not too near. ;)

  7. I'm sorry you're peeved today, Shaheen. As someone who owns her flat and has two renters upstairs, I can empathise completely. The young girl above me is sweet and not home much, though when she is, I know it because the walls are so flimsy one can hear her footsteps. Each of us has designated parking and as I don't own a car and use the bus, neighbours or friends of neighbours think nothing of "borrowing" my spot, generally without asking. They also sometimes block the only ramp available to get to or from my door to the street. I wish you well in your house sale.

  8. Hey Shaheen, it could be a lot worse.. One of our neighbours was very rude to us when our cattle managed to escape from their field and munched his plants (which we later found out were on the roadside not on his property) even though we offered to replace the plants. Then our immediate neighbours (and we live in the country with a lot of space around us) accused my husband of something he did not do (open a gate to let sheep in to eat their fruit trees), and then got most of the other neighbours to side with them and make out that we are the 'baddies' of the street! We've also had someone phoning the police and council to stir up trouble! Now we have nothing to do with the lot of them, very sad but there it is. Dealing with neighbours can be very upsetting and stressful. It certainly has for us! I'm glad to hear you are moving out, I hope you find better neighbours in your new place!
    Best wishes Bridget

  9. Oh dear.

    I'm going through something very similar right now. We have two suites in our house - my partner and I rent the main floor and there is a separate suite in the upper. A 18 year old kid just moved in (nothing against age! but this is his first time living on his own and has yet to learn neighbor etiquette) and for the past 3 days - his entire tenancy - he has been playing his turn tables (he is a DJ) sans headphones. So there is a constant VERY loud THUMP THUMP THUMP paired with shitty dance music at all hours of the day. Moreover, our landlord (crazy lady) gave him our cell numbers so he is constantly texting us about questions and problems he is having... last I checked this is NOT my responsibility.

    I'm nipping this shit in the bud THIS WEEK. You should do the same. Be assertive but polite and establish your and their space. Sometimes people are just oblivious to their intrusive habits and need to hear what they're doing. You have as much every right to your space as they do theirs. And in close living quarters, we all have to be respectful of that.

    AHHHHH!!! Anger!!!!

  10. Ugh, if only we could choose our neighbors! I wonder if contacting their landlord would be a way around stepping on their toes. It is disgusting that they don't pick up after their animals and unsanitary! I hope this irons itself out, and that you have lovely neighbors in your next home!

  11. Shaheen, bide your time it will be worth it. We are fortunate to know all of our neighbours and to get on with them all but that has not always been the case. Our first property was a terraced house on a busy road with constant battles over parking & access so I do sympathise with you on that one. Maybe leaving a 'gift' of dog poop bags on their doorstep might do the trick ?!
    Chin up

  12. Ugh we just got new neighbors and I do NOT like them...luckily not pets just screaming children and what I am assuming is an infant....not a fan :-/

  13. Our neighbors don't pick up after their dog, either. It's aggravating not to be able to walk through my own yard! I keep hoping our landlords will say something... However, these neighbors are much better than the guy who used to live in the next-door duplex. He was pretty gross.

    I'm happy you're getting to move soon--I know you've been looking forward to it. My husband and I want a house someday--when we find a town we like!

  14. I've always been wary when buying a new house for all the reasons that you mention above concerning neighbours.

    You are right to be peeved Shaheen, there's nothing more annoying than selfish, mindless behaviour.

    I happened to be reading your blog out loud and my husband’s pipped up with a solution...get a gun!
    Hmm...guess who does the softly softly approach when delicate matters have to be addressed in this household!

    Your home is your sanctuary and should be your little piece of heaven...I'll keep my fingers crossed that things improve for you and that your new place is perfect ;D

  15. I would be annoyed too! Luckily we have good neighbours, well for the most part. The people underneath have a band but I like listening to them practice and next door works crazy hours but he never wakes us up.
    I feel bad for those poor dogs! Hope it gets better after you have a chat to them.
    Have you tried ear plugs?

  16. My neighbour's girlfriend parks dead center in front of our house, even when there's a great spot in front of his. It drives me crazy because it makes no sense. Re. the poop, my brother has that problem and carries it back over to the poop owners yard. Very passive aggressive, but it probably makes him feel vindicated somehow.

  17. One of my greatest pleasures in owning a home is that I always know what I'm coming home to. I don't have to wonder if the neighbour is having a party (if they were, it would be respectful and far enough away).

    There is no excuse for your neighbour with the dogs. I am wholeheartedly a dog person and believe it is my responsibility to pick up after her and make sure she isn't a nuisance to neighbours. I would politely tell them you are trying to sell and ask them to keep appearances better.

  18. Neigbours can be infuriating sometimes. We have also had some lovely neighbours who we are still friends with even though we have moved away. We don't talk (or should I say we try not to talk) to neighbours on one side of us now so that the friction is kept to a minimum and on the other side lives one of my daughters and her family so that is wonderful. Bet you can't wait to move!

  19. Neighbours fall into the love or hate categories. We have had neighbours who have become very good friends and we see socially still even though we have moved away. Others we try not to talk to so the friction is kept to a minimum. Bet you can't wait to move!

  20. Oh you poor poor thing :-( Having lived through a variety of really awful neighbours I really feel for you. And I too cannot extol the virtues of a house. We can be as loud as we want without disturbing the neighbours (or them disturbing us) I actually have a neighbour rant on my blog too, and it made me feel tons better after writing it.

    I hope you feel better now, and just hold out, not long till you can be blissed out in your own home.


  21. Oh how I relate to this at the moment. Our immediate neighbours are lovely, but the man behind caused some serious stress earlier this year. There was some seriously inappropriate behaviour that nearly had us involving the police and even now I get furious when I think about it! It makes such a difference who you live near, but it's hard to know these things in advance. We have a semi-detached house so only have 1 adjoining wall, but are still in close proximity to people and their actions do influence us.

    I hope your dramas improve...

  22. A huge hug to you - shared accomodation often is a bit of a nightmare. I hope you get yours sold soon.

    We lived in a communal garden area before - its not easy - whilst I have a dog and do clean up after him (Its the law apart from anything else) the other tenant with a dog let theirs poop all over the garden (and the next door communal garden) - I found myself clearing it all up thinking I'd get the blame as I also have a dog.

    Goodluck with moving - you deserve a nice peaceful space.

    Fay x

  23. my friend complained to me of a similar dog poo issue: so I went to her house and we waited for the man, walking his dog: he, ten paces ahead ~ the dog squatting outside my friends front door: so I grabbed a bag, picked up the poo and followed the man home: shoved the bag through his letterbox: my friend never had a poo problem again!

  24. We live in a unit where we have had varied experience with our neighbours - next door we have had the neighbour from hell (loud music and messy front verandah), great neighbours who were great company and then an indifferent neighbour - shame you can't choose your neighbours - but also I find when you are about to leave you lose your patience for the bad things about a place. Yet it is still a mystery how some people can be so thoughtless to those around them. Good luck with managing the situation!

  25. I would be peeved too. I can't stand people who get dogs and don't bother to look after them properly. It's selfish and unfair, not only to the poor dogs themselves who are probably desperate for a good walk, but also as in your case, to the people around who have to deal with the consequences. I think you can always tell a good dog owner by whether or not they clean up the dog poo in their own garden. It's neglect.

    I'm peeved on your behalf! No matter, keep looking forward. Early next year will soon come!

  26. THANK YOU so much to each and every one of you for taking the time to comment. I really did feel the warmth.

    I have read each and every comment. It does seem that this post has resonated with each and every one of you, and I know I shouldn’t say this, but I have taken comfort in the fact that I am not alone in this situation. From reading your comments, I know it can certainly be much worse, so I will bide my time here; and try to manage the situation. I just hope it doesn’t impact on the flat sale.

    Many of the properties around us are ‘let’/rented out' and many of the landlords these days don’t really care, as long as they are getting someone to pay their mortgage. We had enough trouble contacting the landlord for the property below to get the leaking roof paid for. So I won’t be contacting them, moreso as I don’t intend to be living here come next year.

    Once again, THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH TO EACH AND EVERY ONE WHO LEFT A COMMENT X It really has been most appreciated.

  27. Came via many blogs, and found your Kitchenalia attractive.
    Sorry about your troubles. I can relate to the neighbours part though. I think this problem is all over the world? To have good neighbours is God's blessings . I agree that having a own home keeps one to our own sounds. That is a perfect reason to look for one.

    All the best for things to improve.


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